


In Public

by ImaKaraTabiHe



Category: Daredevil (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: "Uptown Funk" - Mark Ronson & Bruno Mars, Bad Jokes, Boys In Love, Dancing, Donuts, Embarrassment, Grocery Shopping, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Some Humor, some lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11415909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaKaraTabiHe/pseuds/ImaKaraTabiHe
Summary: Peter needs food.  Luckily, Wade's there to help, if not embarrass him in the process.  Matt just wants to go home.





	In Public

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kVader](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kVader/gifts).



Peter usually went hungry these days. “These days” being the days that he barely got paid enough to make rent and his other bills and maybe a small amount of food. There wasn't a lot of time to have a steady job, what with being Spider-Man and all. He'd tried delivering pizza, but he came across a robbery in progress and… let's just say the robbers were a little cheesy when the police came to pick them up.

Hunger was something he was familiar with, but it was also something that Wade and Matt had sought to correct. That's why he found himself in there company, roaming the aisles of a grocery store at 6pm on a Friday night.

“What about Fruit Loops!? Fruit loopity loops!” Wade squealed, showing Peter a box of cereal.

“That's hardly healthy, Wade,” Matt chided, always the adult.

Wade lifted his mask up long enough to stick his tongue out at Matt, childishly. “Says you!”

Matt raised an eyebrow beneath his red tinted glasses. “Tongue. Back in your mouth. Now.”

Peter tried not to chuckle at how fast Wade complied, but it was hard not to. Matt was someone you didn't want to piss off. At least, any person with a logical thought process knew that.

Wade wasn't one of them. “Oh, hush your horny-ness, DD. I want my Petey to have something tasty to eat!”

“He needs to eat healthier, Wade. Sugar is bad,” Matt bluntly replied.

Peter watched as Wade lifted his middle finger. “Fuck that. Sugar is the bomb.”

Matt seemed to just stare at Wade, you know – without actually staring, but you knew he was totally doing it anyways.

Listening to some whispers of concern from onlookers, Peter walked up to Wade and pulled his finger down. “Wade, not in front of the kids,” he said.

“Awe, Petey-pie. I'm sure they already know about us.” The mercenary slid his fingers in Peter's, squeezing.

“What.”

“We're such a perfect couple,” Wade cooed over them.

“What,” Peter repeated, playing confused.

“What are you confused about, snookums?” Wade questioned, smiling.

“If I were him, I'd be confused about everything,” Matt muttered under his breath.

Ignoring Matt, Wade plopped the cereal in the cart and leaned closer to Peter. “Tell me~? Please?”

“A lot of things. One of the most important is why you think turkey dogs aren't real,” Peter said, thinking about how Wade had gone on a rant in the meat section about how “turkeys” aren't “dogs” therefore “they can't be turkey dogs! They're lying to us!”

“They aren't.” Wade cranes his head so his mask touches Peter's ear. “They're a figment of our imagination.”

Peter shivers slightly at the feel of his mask against his ear. He really needed to tell Wade not to do that in public! “Wade-”

“ _Come on, dance_  
_Jump on it_  
_If you sexy then flaunt it_  
_If you freaky then own it_  
_Don't brag about it, come show me_  
_Come on, dance_  
_Jump on it_  
_If you sexy then flaunt it_  
_Well it's Saturday night and we in the spot_  
_Don't believe me just watch (come on)”_

Wade gasps. “That's my song!”

'Is he just now noticing it?' Peter questioned before he was jerked out of his thoughts by his hand. “Huh?” He watched as Wade started swaying to the beat, hips jerking to and fro.

“Wade. Wade, stop,” Peter begged, throwing a look at Matt, but the man seemed intent on “reading the ingredients in a cereal” which was a damn lie. The man was blind for Pete's sake.

"Pete~ Petey-pie~ Snookums~ Come on~ Dance with me~" Wade called after Peter slipped away from him.

"No, Wade."

"But babe~ that bootie was made to shake., so shake it like jello!" Wade sung, spinning.

"Omg, Wade. We're in the middle of the grocery store!" Peter blushed, red filling his cheeks.

Matt seemed to be actively ignoring their entire existence at this point. The jerk.

Seemingly unable to stand it, Wade grabs Peter and spins him. "Omg, Wade. Stop! Everyone's looking at us!" Peter cries, embarrassed.

"Matty's not,” Wade argued.

"Matt is blind, Wade,” Peter pointed out as Wade swung him around, dodging the cart.

“So? He's not looking at us."

"He's blind. I'm pretty sure he's trying to forget we know each other, Wade.”

Shrugging, Wade shook his hips, curling his arms around Peter. He couldn't help but blush further as his body brushed against Wade's. He was going to turn into a puddle of Spidey and just… just disappear. People were _staring._

Finally, the song ended and Wade let go. He didn't seem to enjoy the next song as much. Thankfully. Unthankfully, Matt was gone. Peter and Wade split up so he could go pay while Peter got Matt. Whatever Wade ended up getting was what he was going to have. He just wanted to get out of this place.

Red flashed and Peter's eyes locked onto the man at the doorway, doors swooshing out in front of him as the man lumbered out with his cane. “Matt!” he called after him, frowning when the man just kept going. “Matt!” He ran outside after him.

Outside, the man finally turned, looking “surprised”. It was a fat lie. “Where were you going?”

“To find you two,” Matt replied.

“Excuse you. We were looking for you. You left us in the bread aisle,” Peter snarked.

"You were busy,” Matt said, tilting his head as if he were trying to convince Peter of how he'd made the logical decision.

That wasn't going to fly with him though. "Matt. You were halfway out the door and weren't even looking back,” Peter huffed.

"....I thought you'd left?” Matt tried.

“ _Matt.”_

“What?”

Peter groaned, running his fingers through his hair. He wasn't mad, not really. He'd slip away if he could. He hated being the center of attention too, so he couldn't blame him.

“Snookums~” Wade sung, skipping out the door with bags dangling from his arms.

“Let's just go back to the apartment,” Peter said, tired. He hated shopping.

 

 

“...Wade. What happened to the groceries?”

“What do you mean? They're right here,” Wade said, pointing to the bags on Peter's counter.

Peter stared at the bags of donuts. There were chocolate, sugar, cinnamon sugar, glazed, cake, blueberry, sour cream… “I'm never leaving you alone in the grocery store again.”

“Donuts!” Wade shouted with excitement as he tore open a box of dark chocolate covered donuts. “Say 'Ahh~', Petey-pie!”

Peter rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, almost choking when Wade shoved the hole donut into his mouth. Half of it hung out of his mouth as he looked at Wade with wide, startled eyes.

Wade's eyes glittered as he leaned forward and bit off half of the donut, not letting his eyes stray from Peter's.

Blushing, Peter quickly ate his half of the donut. “Maybe… it's not so bad.”

“Score!” Wade jumped up and down. He stopped when Peter glared at him. “I mean- who wants eggs!”

Matt spoke up from the background, “...I just want to brush my teeth.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy late B-day, K~ I'm not sure how good this is, but maybe it's okay? I'm sure your comics will be a lot better than this. Sorry if it's silly.


End file.
